Testimony of family (ex-prisoner HUYE)
In the district of Huye,
A man was incarcerated because of the genocide.
his wife, who was left alone with their children, still young, had
Many sentences to take care of them, especially that the family usually lived in
hard life because of poverty.
In the early days, the woman went to see him in prison
But after a few years, she had had enough and started not to go.
She developed an excessive rage against her husband.
After ten years in prison, the husband was released
And he came back home.
The woman and her children did not want to welcome her,
When he asked for this or that service, neither the woman nor the children
No one wanted to listen, and it was the fight at home. After the prison, the woman never shared the bed with her husband,
She gave him her room and food when she wanted because the husband did not give her rations.
The man began to cook his side,
It was serious because all the neighbors knew
The quarrels and the battle of this couple.
When CAPACITAR arrived in this environment to form a group of couples who lived in conflict,
He was also present at the invitation of the Vulnerable Support Coordinator.
After training, many couples gave testimonials that they no longer feel the anger
And underestimates it incomprehensibly.
During this group's visit, this couple gave first its testimony.
The man confessed that they have continued to implement the lessons learned, that afterward, they have asked for forgiveness, and that now they share the same bed with his wife, eat together, and that peace and love reign in their household.
They do the field work together. Recourse to local authorities for conflicting reasons has ceased.
His wife and the other participants confirmed that.
The couple got up and kissed in front of everyone and thanked the trainers of
CAPACITAR for having Rebuilt their family.
Testimony of single mothers (RULINDO).
Some feelings that dominate when they get pregnant
We're told they were pregnant:
(Here are their reactions)
- It was the end of my life
- Fear invaded me by saying that my father would kill me
- The shame of myself and the fear of telling the parents
- Deep pain and unexplainable injury
- The shame of going back to school
- The isolation and the shame of going to meet people
- Desolation and crying
- Silence and grief
- Submission to the insults of my parents and my brothers
- The refusal to eat with the family, and I locked myself in my room
- A suicide attempts
- The anguish of being rejected
- A single girl, my mother refused to feed me and locked me up in the room.
- The flight because nobody was interested in me anymore; I was worthless
- Lack of respect in the family, refusal of soap, ointment, etc ...
- Insomnia for 9 months
- Childbirth alone without telling anyone
Impact of CAPACITAR
- They say that relations with their parents, children, and neighbors have improved thanks to the knowledge they received about CAPACITAR. They accepted their situation and social life conditions.
- Because of anger and resentment against their partners, some single mothers transferred all conflicts to their children and refused to reveal the names of their fathers. They scolded and beat them for no good reason. After training of CAPACITAR who helped them to express and manage their emotions, and through training on the rights of the child and his psychological development,
- These girls found love and affection for their children; they revealed to them the name of the father and registered them with the civil state official.
Testimony of woman (HUYE).
During the beneficiaries' home visits,
A woman in the Huye district gave us her testimony to show the importance of CAPACITAR.
"I am HIV +, my husband is HIV - that is, we are a discordant couple and therefore
We are still fighting. Before CAPACITAR,
My husband kept blaming me for having AIDS, saying that I was disappearing,
That I was whore before we got married and other provocative words.
When I tried to reply, he beat me hard, and it was repeated at least three times a week.
I felt very tired, and I started to triple the amount of alcohol I was taking.
It was a locally made beer that was nicknamed NYIRANTARE.
I frequented the cabarets shamelessly and returned, ready to fight until the end.
And it was me who took the first step to provoke him.
All the neighbors knew me as an alcoholic.
Once I threw him a stool that broke the window without touching it.
That day struck me very much, but I did the same thing the next day. I did not do anything at home; the children were always hungry and had no school fees, so they dropped out of school because their daddy did not give anything either.
One day, a neighbor who learned CAPACITAR (multiplier)
Asked me to accompany her in training or counseling
Who has family problems?
In the first days, I refused because I thought that our case was irreversible,
I was only waiting for the first to kill the other between us.
But since he insisted, I saw that it was good and effective.
As I attended the sessions,
I knew how to manage my emotions using my fingers, EFT (Emotional Release Technique)
Harmonization, visualization, respiration, etc.
Especially anger, sadness, and the inferiority complex.
I remembered that I have children who must enjoy their future,
So, I started accepting myself as I am and leaving my husband peacefully.
Little by little, I gave up alcohol, and I asked my husband to reconcile us
And work together for the future of our family.
We stopped fighting and looked at the income-generating activities together.
Currently, we have goats and pigs that give us money.
The children have returned to school, we have repaired our house, bought chairs, and underwent training on water hygiene.
The heads of cells have chosen me as an adviser of living households.
In conflicts, I do it successfully. "
